My flatmate, L., sent this to me and it is quite possibly the funniest thing I have ever read. If you, too, are a grad student (or have been in a previous life), you’ll probably think this is equally funny. If you’re soon-to-be a grad student… well, here’s what you have to look forward to (!!):
You know you’re a grad student when…
…everything reminds you of something in your discipline
.…you have ever discussed academic matters at a sporting event.
…you have ever spent more than $50 on photocopying while researching a single paper.
…you can tell the time of day by looking at the traffic flow at the library.
…you look forward to summers because you can study more productively without the distraction of classes.
…you regard ibuprofen as a vitamin.
…you consider all papers to be works in progress.
…you find the bibliographies of books more interesting than the actual text.
…you have give up trying to keep your books organized and are now just trying to keep them all in the same general area.
…you have accepted guilt as inherent feature of relaxation.
…you start referring to things in Latin phrasing, as in “Snow White et al”.
…you frequently wonder how long you can live on pasta without getting scurvy.
…you look forward to taking some time off to do laundry.
…you have more photocopy cards than credit cards.
…you are startled to meet people who neither need nor want to read.
…you have ever brought a scholarly article to a bar.
…you rate coffee shops by the availability of outlets for your laptop.
…you wonder whether APA style allows you to cite talking to yourself as “personal communication”.
…you have difficulty reading anything that doesn’t have footnotes.
…you understand jokes about Foucault.
…you consider caffeine to be a major food group.
…Saturday nights spent studying no longer seem weird.
…the professor doesn’t show up to class and you discuss the readings anyway.
…you find taking notes in a park relaxing.
…you find yourself citing sources in conversation.
…your glasses prescription is 3x stronger than it was a year ago and you have carple tunnel syndrome because 90% of your time is in front of the computer or reading.
…8% of your time is spent in class.
…2% of your time is divided among eating, sleeping, shopping, TV, laundry, and socializing.
…an exciting trip is when you run errands with your roommate.
…you utter the words, “School comes before sex.”
…a complete dinner might be a bagel with cream cheese and a diet coke.
…your bill for xeroxing exceeds your phone bill.
…a full night of sleep is 4 hours and a 2 hour nap mid afternoon.
…the last time you worked out, women were wearing little rope headbands and legwarmers.
…the food groups are ramen, caffeine, Subway, bagels, and the occasional delivery.
…when you tell people your thesis topic, they blink repeatedly and purse their lips while attempting not to burst out laughing.
…you consider Spring Break a time to get some work done on that paper you want to submit.
…you consider cooking and cleaning your apartment leisurely breaks from real work.
…5:00 p.m. Friday means you are now scheduled to work for the next 48 hours.
…you have every minute of the next four months planned out but have no idea what you are going to do for the rest of your life.
…your friends and family become concerned because although you can now recite, word for word, the most popular theories in your field, you have lost all semblance of common sense.
Love it! I especially love that I can honestly relate to 90+% of those! Such a glam life we lead!