I’m having a quarter-life crisis. To the nth degree.
I can’t even fathom what a mid-life crisis like, if a quarter-life crisis makes me want to crawl into a hole a die. That’s extreme. I don’t really want to die. What I really want is to find a job in London in the field I’m interested in, get a cute little flat somewhere central and make enough money to pay my bills and pay back my student loans. That, to me, would be happily ever after.
Right now, I’m writing my dissertation, having a bit of a panic attack on the job front, trying to organize my life, and dealing with the fact that as of September 10th I may or may not be homeless. Oh, God. I know everyone goes through this at some point (or so my friends have reassured me), but it’s really, really awful when you’re experiencing it personally.
I have never (ever!) been jobless. I’ve consistently been employed since the age of 15 and have never had to worry about a place to live, paying for food, etc. Now, though, I’m 24 years old, more educated and motivated than ever but jobless! Such an awful feeling. If the job could come together then, theoretically, everything else would fall into place. When I called Mac in freakout/girl mode, he reassured me that if money was my only problem, I was in a good position. While I agree with that statement, I must admit that I agreed with it much more when I was employed! It’s easy to say that money’s ‘easy’ when you have it. When you don’t? Well, then life gets tricky. While money doesn’t buy happiness, it sure does pay for housing, food, transport, etc., which are pretty necessary for existence.
That being said, I’m going to try to refrain from psyching myself up. Instead, I’ve been applying for jobs left and right and have been looking for ways to get my stuff together within the next month. If anyone knows of any research positions or vacancies in an academic-type setting, I would be thrilled! Crossing my fingers that life really does work out in the way that people promise.
Love (and freakouts) from London,