Blue Mosque, Istanbul

Two days until Turkey and I feel like I’m finally getting excited about it! Between the papers, the readings, the studying and all of the other school work that I’ve been smothered in, I didn’t have time to properly get psyched.

Now I’m getting psyched.

Two days. Two short days until take-off! Now that I’m finally putting some real thought into it, I looked over Time Out’s Top 20 list of things to do and see in Istanbul and it’s packed! We’re clearly not going to have time to explore everything on the list in three short days, but it has definitely helped me construct a little list of my own.

My top things to do and see whilst in Turkey:

1. Hit up the Grand Bazaar: How much more Turkish can you get than the Grand Bazaar? Haggling for random trinkets and snagging unique gifts are possibly my two favorite things.

2. Kick it Asian-style: Take a ferry to the Asian side of Istanbul just to say that I’ve been to Asia (plus to see the cultural differences). Maybe for a dinner date.

3. Enjoy some authentic hookah: I’m not a smoker, but hookah is one of my favorite things to indulge in on a relaxing vacay. Apple is my most favorite, but I’m down to explore some Turkish specialties!

4. Check out the mosques: You can’t go to Istanbul and not see the amazing (and plentiful) mosques! We’re right across the street from the Blue Mosque (can literally see it from our hotel window). I’m so excited to see it up close!

5. Check out the Egyptian Spice Bazaar: Since I’ve seen pictures of this place, I’ve been dying to see it!

6. Enjoy Turkish cuisine: By Turkish cuisine, I mean eat as much hummus and babaganoush as humanly possible and snag some Turkish Delight to bring home for my post-Lent dessert indulgence. Mmmmm!

A girlfriend of mine already sent me a list of must-sees from her trip to Istanbul! Does anyone else have any recommendations for places that are unforgettable?

xoxo,

A few years ago, one of my girlfriends, G., gave me something amazingly touching for my birthday. I had issues, as most women in their late teens/early twenties do, with self-esteem, knowing where I was going in life (who am I kidding, I still have that issue!), and being able to accept God-given tenacity and capability as something worth holding on to. She gave me a frame decorated with pictures of us and a piece of paper with a quote sitting where the picture normally would be (G. is a ridiculously creative woman, so my description of this masterpiece isn’t doing it justice). The following quote was inside of the frame:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we’re liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.”

At the time, I found it touching, profound and fitting for the time in my life. I woke up this morning, randomly thinking about that frame and that quote and realized that at some point, perhaps I took that message to heart. I’m still in the process of making it a reality, mind you, but it’s important to persevere and push yourself to greatness. Not achieving the success that you’re capable of serves no one. You let yourself down, you let down the people who know your ability, and you let humanity down. When you let yourself be amazing and embrace that for what it is, it’s an inspiration to other people. I find myself looking up to these people who have had a profound impact through achieving their flavor of greatness and it makes me realize that their ability to achieve acts as a source of inspiration for everyone else; for all the little neophytes of amazingness roaming the world. Certainly, we should push ourselves, because who knows… one day, we might be the inspiration for others that we currently seek for ourselves.

Some of my inspirations (aside from my amazing family, of course):

Nelson Mandela: For passion, courageousness and zest for life despite life's hardships

Gregor Mendel: the father of Mendelian genetics; for thinking out-of-the-box and pushing boundaries.

Bill & Melinda Gates: Generous people that see the world for more than just themselves.

Dambisa Moyo: not for her theories, but for her ability to embrace her intelligence, wit, beauty and femininity.

Who are you inspired by?

To try and help get rid of my headache and the overall disgustingness of a hangover, I called my parents for a much-needed family Skype sesh (one of my favorite Sunday activities). After teetering on the edge of death (or what felt like it, at least) I needed some parental love to help me feel a bit better. This is the roughly the beginning of our Skype conversation:

Shannon: Hey, dad…
Dad: Hey, Shan. Whoa, you look…. tired. And pale.
Shannon: Yeah, I feel like sh*t. I spent the whole night throwing up and I don’t have the energy to get up but I want to make some soup.
Dad: Oh, no… are you sick?
Shannon: Eh, no. Kind of. Dad, I drank waaaaaay too much. At nearly 24, how do I not know when enough’s enough? Uggh!
Dad: Well, you never really drink so your body can’t take much.

[Mom enters the scene.]

Mom: Hey Shan… whoa! Did you get the license plate?
Shannon: Huh? The license plate?
Mom: Yeah, of the truck that ran you over!

Hahahahaahah. Thanks, momma bear!

I love my parents. It’s stuff like this that makes me want to go back to California <3.

So, I went with a couple of girlfriends last night to see Invictus at the Odeon. I’m not 100% sure what I expected, but whatever it was, the movie definitely exceeded my expectations. The couldn’t have cast the film better! It was so spot on, and the poem (the movie’s namesake) is amazing and inspiring so I thought I’d share it here for everyone else to read.

[William Ernest Henley]

I am the master of my fate; I am the captain of my soul.
I think that’s something that we would all do well to keep in mind.

My life as a grad student has opened my heart to iTunes.

I should backtrack a touch. I have always used iTunes for my iPhone and/or iPod, but I never really purchased stuff from iTunes. I was always a pirate; I was a LimeWire user who downloaded every song under the sun for free and then uploaded them into my iTunes database. As fate would have it, however, LSE blocks LimeWire (and every other illegal downloading app, I’m sure) and I’m now unable to violate intellectual property rights on a daily basis. Being that I need new music, I started using iTunes and I discovered the wonderful world of iTunes U and TV SHOWS! I’m not a big TV watcher (never have been), but I have a tendency to get uber-bored whilst ellipticalizing at the gym. After 30 or so minutes you get into the elliptical groove and just move sort of robotically, but I need to keep my mind going and my energy up and I typically need some stimulation to make that happen. The answer: music or TV!

Since I discovered downloading seasons of TV shows, I’ve become kind of hooked. I can’t do it very often because they’re kind of pricey, but it’s so nice having TV shows on hand! I recently downloaded the entire season of Private Practice (to complement my Grey’s) and have been watching an episode during every trip to the gym! I also downloaded a bunch of university lectures on HIV/AIDS (they’re all free!) and have been listening to those intermittenly while working out (much more exciting than it sounds). Before I know it, 45 minutes or an hour have passed and I’ve worked up a much-needed sweat! Plus, I made a deal with myself: no watching Private Practice unless I’m at the gym. Since I paid $35 for the season, I use them as a weird incentive. If I want to see the next episode of Private Practice/Gossip Girl/Grey’s/Keeping up with the Kardashians (keep that one on the DL), I have to watch it at the gym and get my exercise in! Bizarrely enough, it works! It seriously incentives me.

On that note… is anyone else ridiculously pumped for the new episode of Gossip Girl on Monday?! I have been waiting for this!!

Nanu & I, 1989.

I’m good. I’m surprisingly good today. I’m not sure what I expected exactly, but I suppose it was something along the lines of a wave of sadness coming over me, relegating me to my room in a pool of tears for the entirety of the day.

As a kid in Malta, c. 1930.

It’s March 5. I think about where I was one year ago today… sleeping in my grandma’s room in California (at around 330A), about an hour from being woken up by my sister so that she could tell me that my grandpa had passed away. We knew it was coming; he was at home by choice and hospice was with us to ‘prepare us for the end’. Whatever that means. Can you really ever be prepared? We did get to say our goodbyes and be with him during his last week, but looking back, I wonder how I didn’t explode during that time.

Grandma & Grandpa, 1950s.

I remember being balled up against the wall of the family room crying until there was nothing left inside of me, him sitting in the chair across from me, sick and medicated in a deep sleep. The thought of living without him or my grandma was foreign; it was something that I couldn’t fathom. Yet, a year ago today we all had to let go and say goodbye. I cried. I thought I was going to die for a brief moment in time. I didn’t know how to exist in a world where my family unit was broken.

The Boys.

Somehow, though, I came to terms with everything. I began realizing that life is life, and death is part of life. People live their lives and do as much as they can in the time that they have on earth. He certainly had time on earth. Nearly 84 years, and despite a number of health issues, he pushed through and was a trooper until the end. I gave the eulogy at his funeral a couple of weeks after he passed. Part of me questioned whether or not I would be able to deliver it in one piece; without breaking down and walking off of the stage. Somehow, miraculously, I did it. And at the end, I felt something strange; something cathartic. I felt like I had some sort of bizarre sense of closure. I had let him go and I said goodbye properly and I delivered a eulogy to a group of onlookers, explaining what an amazing man he was and how he so profoundly impacted my life. My grandma, who I thought would most certainly begin falling apart after his death, has handled it was an inner strength that I didn’t know she had. Of course, she’s still sad, she still hurts and she still cries, but she’s healing and has continued to live her life. Perhaps that’s what helps me cope and what helps me come to grips with reality. Seeing her survive and thrive after such a loss has made me realize the strength that we all have inside. No matter how had it gets, no matter what comes your way and what losses you have to cope with, you can move on. Not without their memory, but you can continue living your life as a way of honoring theirs.

Memorial Day, 2007.

So, with that, I remember the resilience of the human spirit and the strength of people’s souls and respectfully honor my grandpa’s memory and let him know that I’m moving forward. I’m living life and continuing to strive for success. Not without him, but rather, having him with me at every moment.

Paul Falzon, 1925 - 2009

In loving memory.

Inhobbok hafna. I miss you.

Momma Bear.

My mom is hilarious. Not intentionally hilarious, but the ditzy-funny kind of hilarious. I just spent 25 or so minutes on the phone with my mom discussing my future: wanting to continue my education, schooling and funding. I told her that if I didn’t get the funding that I need to stay in London that I would certainly be looking to return to the US for a PhD program that would provide funding. She, of course, requested that I return to California and was pushing for San Diego. I told her that that was definitely a possibility, but that I also wanted to apply to Columbia because their program seems to be in line with my research interests. Her response?

“Shannon! Columbia? That’s far!”
“I know, mom, but it’s not that bad. Their program’s really good and they would have funding.”
” Yeah, but Shan! You don’t even speak the language!”

(Long, pregnant pause.)

“Mom, Columbia University, not Colombia the country.”
“Oh…. yeah…. Columbia’s good.”

Oh, mom. You crack me up and you don’t even mean to.

For your listening pleasure:

Fast Tube by Casper

Side note: Am I the last person to realize that Ne-Yo’s kind of (really) hot?

xoxo,

Certainly, I’m excited. Their PhD program offerings are perfectly aligned with my research interests and the school has a stellar reputation. Plus, it’s part of the University of London and after my pretty awesome LSE experience, I have an affinity for all things UoL. The professors at the LSHTM have been amazing. I can’t even emphasize how wonderful they’ve been. I email them with a question or a concern and I get an email back the same day or early the following day with a slew of information. I haven’t even sent in my application yet and the people are kind enough to follow up with me and make sure I’m on track. Let me put this into context: I emailed an administrator at SDSU for their SDSU-UCSD combined Public Health PhD program over a week ago and I still haven’t heard back from them! Not even an automated-type response. There’s definitely something refreshing in feeling like your not just a number; like you’re actually a human being interested in spending a chunk of your life (and your life’s savings!) with the people at this university. If they don’t even have the courtesy to respond (or forward my email on to someone who would respond), do they really care about having me there as a student? PhDs aren’t normal run-of-the-mill classwork; it’s about finding a tutor that can mentor you and take you under their wing to make you the researcher/academic that you want to be. Out of the people that I’ve contacted thus far, the LSHTM seems like the most… receptive, most fitting. The people actually care! Perhaps they’re just an anomalous bunch.

In any case, I’m back to doing some work now and thoroughly excited about the prospect of a PhD!

Here’s to hoping.

xoxo,

Ahhh... such a wonderful forecast.

If you weren’t already aware, sunshine in London is a rarity. As my professor put it this morning (as I walked into class beaming, high on Vitamin D), the sun shining in London is an annual event. It’s true. It’s a rarity, but when it happens it’s glorious. Living in California my entire life, I took for granted how amazing it is to wake up because the sunlight is streaming through your window. Instead, I’ve gotten used to waking up to the sound of my alarm, looking out the window to grey skies at 10A and forcing myself to get out of bed. When the sun is out, energy levels rise, people all over town are infinitely nicer and food tastes better. I’m really only mildly exaggerating. Sunshine in London, although rare, makes the city more amazing than it normally is. I recently began re-evaluating my ideas of staying in London for three-plus more years… though I love the city and European life, the idea of facing more sunless grey days was seriously depressing. Today’s 50 degree sunshiney weather was re-invigorating though. I’m still not so sure about spending 3 more years here, but it’s nice to see the city with sunglasses on; it makes it so much more fun to go outside and enjoy all the sightseeing the city has to offer. For the last few months I have found that I have had to force myself to get out of my flat and check out new sights — who wants to go out when it’s freezing and raining? Bleh. Not me. But when it’s sunny? Sign me up!

On top of that, I officially finished my last presentation of my Masters career! Finito! Three more summative essays to complete and four exams to take come June and I’ll be winding down. Now, with no presentations to work on and no depressing weather bringing me down, I’m in the mood to a) be pro-active and start working on my essays, and b) get excited for Turkey next weekend! I feel like I haven’t had a chance ot get properly excited for what is sure to be an amazing adventure. Now I can finally start thinking about the mecca of happiness that awaits Alex and I as we head to the Europe/Asia border for a bit of a culture shock.

Ahhhh…. don’t know if I’ve said this enough, so I’ll throw it out there again:

I love my life.

xoxo,